Keeping Out the Dogs or How to Injure Yourself in a Ridiculous Manner

We are the proud owners of two dogs; a 15-year-old Labrador Retriever and a Rat Terrier puppy. The puppy has still not gotten the hang of going out to the bathroom. Instead, he frequently would go into the narrow hall (~3 feet across) and tinkle. Since the hall is usually kept dark, we have slipped in it a couple of times. So, FMP built a barrier to keep the puppy from going down the hall until we can complete his toilet training. The barrier was a little high to step over, so FMP lowered it. This is where everything began to go south.

Tuesday, I was coming down the hall carrying my purse, a bag with various things I might need and two or three books. As I went to step over the barrier, I caught my right foot on it. This pretty much tore most of the skin off the top. I reached towards the credenza sitting just on the other side of the barrier in an effort to catch myself.This resulted in my bag landing on the credenza and my purse on the floor. The books scattered. I rebounded off the wall towards the other side. Somewhere in all this, I caught the top of the barrier with my left knee, resulting in a magnificent bruise about 1 1/2 inches wide starting under the middle of that knee and extending halfway around the back. I hit the other wall with my right shoulder and hip. Finally, I pitched over the barrier and headed for the floor. As you can imagine, by this time FMP was screaming my name and rushing towards me. He was too far away, however, to get there before the grand finale. I landed on my right knee, skinning it and then continued towards the floor. Fortunately, by the time my face got there, I had lost enough momentum that I just lay my head down.

Stunned at these events, I lay there until FMP and IRP (who had heard the commotion) got to me. They carefully helped me turn over and sit up. I had not hit my head, so at least I didn’t have to worry about concussion. After a bit, I got up and we bandaged everything. I was not happy, but Tuesday and Wednesday were okay. Thursday, however, I woke up barely able to move. Every muscle involved ached horribly. I stayed home from work and pretty much spent the day in bed taking anti-inflammatory and pain medications. That did the trick and now I just have the bruises and scrapes.

The moral of this story? If it can keep the dog out, it can take you down.


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